I want to share the notes I took in rehab on ‘radical acceptance’ that actually changed my life. I used radical acceptance towards myself when self-love was too far out of reach. I now have a much more clear understanding of what it means to ‘accept’.
Acceptance is acknowledging what is.
to accept something is not the same as judging it as good.
Pain creates suffering only when you refuse to accept the pain.
Deciding to tolerate the moment is acceptance.
Freedom from suffering requires acceptance from deep within of what is.
Radical acceptance is:
- not about me
- taking things as they are
- being non- judgmental
- looking at facts
- describing our situation
- acknowledgement of situation
- changing perspective
- understanding what we can and cannot control in life
- letting it go
Radical acceptance is not:
- condoning behaviors
- being complacent
- giving up your needs
- giving power away
- changing who you are
- denying or ignoring the situation
- understanding ‘why’ or ‘why not’
- never speaking out or asserting thoughts and feelings
- judging things as good or bad
- using ‘shoulds’ or ‘should nots’
- aggressive, passive or passive-aggressive
Acknowledge what you cannot control: the past, others reactions and feelings, your emotions, your first thoughts.
Focus on what you can control: your actions, what you choose to do and say.
It’s about tolerating distress, repeat and practice, practice.
” I can have anxiety and still cope with this situation.”
” I’m strong and I can deal with this.”
” I’ve been through many other painful experiences and I survived.”
” I run my life, not my thoughts.”
” This too shall pass.”