void

so there is this void in my
soul. love. sex. drugs.
food. people. places. things.
etc; they all fail to help 
me feel any less empty. there
are some people who i miss
so fucking much. and i 
realized tonight that 
whether we were together or
not; the hole in my heart 
will remain. like it is 
almost comforting to realize
because i feel less of a  
sense of desperation.
maybe their physical 
presence could give me an
illusion of wholeness you 
know. like i love and miss
them so much. yet i no 
longer have to depend on
if i'm with them or not 
to feel even semi- okay. 
there's a sense of peace 
in knowing this. so ironic
that my only relief is 
realizing that the emptiness
i feel inside; is here to stay.
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